Feast on Famine: Figuring Out the Best Reception Style to Serve Food

Appetizers are served, originally uploaded by cisko.

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/dcisko/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I have always thought appetizers and desserts were the best part about going out to eat, so our decision to trade in the traditional sit-down set up in favor of a heavy hor d'oeurves reception just seems right somehow.

Of course, there are pros and cons...

Pros:

• More focus on the best parts of the wedding - the dancing, drinking and mingling.
  
• No awkward head table away from the rest of the party. We're gonna be all dressed up to party, not sit in front of the party.
  
• Easier way to make sure all guest dietary needs are addressed. As pescatarians, we've attended plenty of parties where hosts were gracious enough to keep us in mind when making their menus, so we feel the least we could do is have a couple vegan options and gluten-free choices for our friends and fam.
• No check boxes for "Chicken, Fish, Beef or Tofu" to keep track of.
  
• No assigned seating, (with the exception of reserving some tables for our parents and older or disabled guests who might not be comfortable hanging out at high top tables all night).
• As I mentioned, appetizers and desserts are the best part, and they offer the chance to show off some creativity.
  
• Less costly for centerpieces and rentals
• We don't really have enough room at the venue for full sit-down set up, but we could probably try to make it work. Going apps only means more room to mingle.
  

Cons:

• I once heard my grandmother describe in great horror, her friend traveling to a wedding that only served a few small appetizers and coffee, tea and soft drinks. While we'll have plenty of booze, we don't want anyone feeling slighted cause we decided to go with hors d'oeuvres only.
• We figured we would have the apps passed for an hour (during what would normally be dinner time) and then have a station set up buffet style so people could graze throughout the evening until it was time for dessert. However, figuring out where that table for this station would go and what would sit there in the meantime in kind of confusing. I guess what I mean is, we're still figuring out the logistics.
• People sometimes think cheap when they see apps only. Worst yet, sometimes passed apps can actually cost more than the sit-down style so then you look cheap and you're spending a lot of money which just adds insult to injury.

We thought food stations might be nice. Some pasta there, some Thai food there, but that could really add up and possibly hurt us in the end. In addition to needing extra staff to man all of those stations, we would have to ante up on the rental charges and food costs and possibly even on decorations. Then there's sit-down family style, but it seems better for more intimate groups and buffet-style, which is okay, but kind of boring and annoying if your the last table called.

Which way do you think is the best way to go?

"Death of the Dream Wedding" OR Decade of the DIY?

Photo Credit: http://images.craveonline.com/article_imgs/Image/wedding_money.jpg


I came across this RedEye article by Alice Truong and couldn't help but run through a series of emotions as I read it. If you don't feel like following the link, here's the synopsis:

• Weddings are expensive...I am sure this part is coming as a somewhat of a shock, so just let that sink in a second before you continue...
  
• The reign of the $50K wedding stuff is a thing of the past for most sane people.
• Chicago wedding costs are down by 6.5 percent to $22,642 for 2009, according to The Wedding Report, a Tucson, Ariz.-based wedding research company.
• In 2008, the number of Chicago weddings performed by Cook County Circuit Court judges dipped to 10,510 from 11,434 in 2005.
• Us Weekly and weddingchannel.com are holding their second annual Dream Wedding, which serves as sort of a lottery ticket done wedding style. Usmagazine.com began taking votes Friday to narrow it between 10 final couples.
• Destination weddings are increasingly popular, and according to theknot.com, one in five couples planned an out-of-town wedding in 2008. The article source attributes this to thinning the guest list, and while that's certainly part of it, I think the part where you can double-up the honeymoon and having a day-of wedding coordinator at your hotel helps cut out worrying about as many smaller details. Not mention, after dealing with hours of research and finding the same sad state of pricey places all around you, it's hard not to just want to say "f-this" and go get hitched somewhere warm.
  
• According to a 2008 survey by theknot.com, Chicago is one of the 10 most expensive cities in which to wed. And from the experience I am having, I completely agree.

Reading this made me feel like I am crazy for trying to have a wedding in Chicago, but I really can't think of anywhere else I would rather do it. It means something to have the wedding here, and if that means going through great pains to find the DJ that doesn't cost over $1200 or the caterer that will work under $5K for 250 people, then I guess that's what it is going to have to take.

Reading the article also made me feel like I have to prove we can do this for under $20K. (To both prove it and because we don't have that kind of money, but still...)

So eat that, average wedding. We're gonna go DIY or local like this city's never seen.

Dress Ideas for the 'Maids

I took a pretty sobering walk through David's Bridal the other day. I wasn't looking to buy, but I was curious as to how 25+ pounds of fabric might feel when you're walking around in it all day and wondered if the bridesmaid dresses are as ugly as people joke they are.

Surprisingly, they did have more than one dress in my size (that's plus-size, at least until my daily workouts start to make a visible difference) and actually, there were three that weren't completely terrible. Unsurprisingly, they felt cheap. Ditto for the 'maids dresses, which are kind of expensive for the quality you're getting, but since I wasn't really looking to buy, it didn't bother me as much.

I probably won't be choosing David's Bridal for my dress or bridesmaids dresses, but I'd have to recommend at least checking out what a heavy dress feels and looks like on. The waif models in all the glossies can make any dress look gorgeous and effortless - as they should, it's their job - but seeing how something like a sheath dress looks on in real life is eye-opening experience. Hello, exercise.

In a perfect world, I'd really like to have a Chicago designer make my dress. Probably something A-line, or equally flattering for my body type, but I haven't really narrowed that down yet. A friend of mine suggested Elise Bergman, and I contacted her for an appointment to get a look at what the possibilities might look like (and cost). I'm looking forward to seeing her previous bridal work. Her wrap dresses look like a great idea for the bridesmaids too, this one's the signature silk multi-wrap in Henna color ($285):



And while this is all very early in the game and idealistic, I kind of have my heart set on Twobirds Bridesmaids dresses for the ladies. They're a little pricey (Calf length is $270 and Floor length is $290) but I love that they run sizes 0-16 and have plus sizes available too, and they wrap ten different ways, so if someone doesn't feel like going strapless they don't have to. I also like to think that they're the bridesmaid dress that someone really would wear more than once (especially since we'd probably go the shorter dress route, making it easier to wear this more than once to someone else's wedding) but everyone likes to think that. Here's the chocolate brown color from someone's real wedding photos (thank you Ariane for sending the images!)




Ulimately, I am going to just ask what everyone would rather do and I will probably end up having to do the "everyone-find-a-dress-remotely-close-to-dark-brown" route, but it's nice to dream.

Getting Buff, Locally

I can't afford a Cheetah Gym membership just yet, but there are a few local programs that might help me drop a few dress sizes. If you haven't heard of these already, you might want to check 'em out:

Walking Trails/Tennis/Gym in Humboldt Park
The Chicago Park District offers a ton of local park trails, pools and other amenities, but since Humboldt is closest to me, here's the lowdown:

I haven't been able to find a beginner's tennis buddy just yet, but the trails are fantastic! If you take the loop around jog or walk around roughly 2 miles of parkway, which takes you all over and through the woods (well, some trees anyways) and past a lagoon and prairies. The gym leaves a little to be admired, but for $50 every three months, it's not a bad deal. Do not recommend signing up for the gym in the summer months at this location. There's no A/C yet.

Swimming in Holstein Park:
For the full schedule of CPD pools, go here.

Holstein Park is one of my favorite pools in the city. Closer to Olympic-sized than most area pools in the parks, this location offers morning and evening adult swim. Alas, for the past three years, the adult lap swim has been free of charge, but the new $22 sign up fee works for any pool in the park district and gets in you through the summer.

YMCA:
You can do whatever your feel...
Yeah, Village People. But seriously, if you can't do the pricier alternatives, the Y is an option.

Brides Run:
If you require a workout buddy to get yourself motivated, this could be a good option for you. I know they have some fitness classes meeting up at Stan Mansion on Kedzie right now, but check 'em out for future dates. The bonus is that everyone you're working out with will also have a little wedding on the brain, so you're less likely to annoy your new fitness pals the same way you might be annoying your single friends.

Millennium Park Free Fitness Programs:
I always overlook things going on downtown because I can get busy as it is in the Northwest neighborhoods, but this looks fantastic. Follow the link for a classes and times.

If you've got a local favorite fitness place in Chicago that doesn't break the bank, please pass it on.

Wedding in the Park

Because I'm way too excited to keep it a secret...

We're planning on doing our wedding in Humboldt Park!

We're using the Boathouse for the ceremony and the Fieldhouse for the reception. It could not be more perfect since it's in Chicago, not too far from public transit and a 10 minute walk from our house.

Here's a few pictures I was able to find online. Hopefully, I will be able to post some of ours soon, but in the meantime:

The Boathouse:
Photo credit: Humboldt Park Boathouse Photograph by Frank Dina, http://fineartamerica.com/featured/humboldt-park-boathouse-frank-dina.html


The Fieldhouse (from the back view):
Photo credit: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/chicago/look/look-humboldt-park-051863


The Banquet Hall:
Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/yochicago1/251914858/

The banquet hall is actually not enough to hold our whole party (250 people might be a bit cramped in this space). But there are two adjoining gyms that just need a little decoration and imagination and it should be perfect.

Speaking of decorations, after we landed the space, we were thinking that if anyone was doing a Friday wedding the day before us, splitting costs would come in handy for both weddings. Then I read that Broke Ass Bride just launched a new website that lets brides team up with other brides to save some cash by going dutch wherever possible.

http://www.brideshare.net/


So, if you're looking for a Friday wedding in October and think you might want to do your wedding here, let me know.

Narrowin' It Down

Finally down to the final two venues!

This process has honestly been kind of a pain and taken way longer than we'd hoped, but the sooner we can sign the contract and do the fun stuff the better, and we're down to two. Unfortunately, our Number One choice won't let us lock it down til' this fall, so that means waiting for three more months or praying they return all the millions of questions we have in writing so we don't get any nasty surprises. HUGE THANK YOU to Johnny's mom who worked her art of negotiation skills to get us an earlier signing date.

To be fair, our backup plan is nice too, just not everything we've dreamed of. It's close by, so that helps, but it honestly needs a lot more imagination that I feel like mustering up for monetarily. Also, it has no windows and so having a wedding in the Fall kind of loses it's reasoning when you're spending most of the wedding not seeing any of the natural beauty around you.

I'll probably be keeping the final details on hold until we settle everything, but in the meantime, friend Robin sent along this Yelp list that helped me find some of the not so well known wedding reception places. It's a pretty comprehensive list, and I have added some additional venues I looked into in case you're on the search for a Chicago wedding venue and want to explore all of the alternatives out there.

Garfield Park Conservatory
South Shore Cultural Center [$4800 for the ceremony and reception (that is the cost to just have the building, no linens, security, etc) and you have to use their caterers].
Chicago Cultural Center-Grand Army of the Republic
Chicago Cultural Center-Maxims
Cafe Brauer
Architectural Artefacts
Harold Washington Library
Newberry Library
Lincoln Park Conservatory
Peggy Notebaert Nature M.
Jackson Park 63rd Beach House
Columbus Park Refectory
Promontory Point
Chicago History Museum
The Rookery
Marmon Grand
Murphy Auditorium, American College of Surgeons
A New Leaf
Stan Mansion
Grand Piazza
Crystal Garden Ballroom
Ravenswood Billboard Factory
Civic Opera House
Ivy Room
Irish American Heritage Center
Copernicus Center
Chicago Illuminating Company
Union League Room
West Loop Studio
Cheney Mansion
Union Station
Estudio Tres
Dankhaus
Studioelab
Zam Zam
Garden Terrace, Garden Manor, Garden Walk, Royal Gardens
Winnetka Community House
Women's Club Evanston
Manzo's Banquets
Wildfire
Logan Square Auditorium
Millennium Knickerbocker Hotel
Prairie Production
Chicago Club
Planetarium
Midday Club
Green Dolphin St
Waveland Clock Tower
Canterbury Inn
Embassy Suites Downtown
Pazzo's
Elks Lodge
Flat Files Gallery
Germania Place
Michelle's Ballroom
Dewes Mansion
Salvage One
Catalyst Ranch
Galleria Marchetti
Columbus Refectory Park
Victoria in the Park
Lincoln Park Conservatory Gardens
Brookfield Zoo
Knickerbocker Hotel ($40K min. and they're dead serious)
White Pines Inn (Mount Morris, IL)
Odyssey Cruises

The Hunt for the Perfect Chicago Wedding Venue

Finding the right venue for a wedding is sort of like finding the perfect apartment. "Perfect" can mean a lot of things to a lot of people, and everyone is different. There's your list of non-negotiable, gotta have it amenities and then there's crap that's extra but doesn't really matter too much. The problem is, if you're as broke as we are, finding a happy balance in a big city has proven to be more difficult than we'd hoped.

For example, if I were looking for a new place, I think that having my cell phone actually work in my apartment (as opposed to making me sit on the window sill and pray for reception) might be high on the list, right next to the cost and location. Likewise, accommodating our very large wedding of 250 people for a an outdoor wedding in the fall, in Chicago, is having a little bit of difficulty.

So, here's all the "gotta have it's" we're hoping to land for our wedding space:

• Must be available for rental in Fall 2010.
  
• Must be in Chicago (or in IL, but very, very close to Chicago)
• Gotta have room for 250 people. People who may like to sit down and eat and a dance floor big enough for everyone to get a little crazy if they feel like it.
  
• Outdoorsy element. If it's not an actual park, it needs to be woodsy with windows.
  
• The party cannot end before midnight. It's our big day, and nothing worth going to ends before midnight.
  
• If we have to use a list of preferred caterers, can they please not be the most expensive options in the city? Also, they have to be vegan-friendly and just giving us a salad is not an option.
  
• If it's over $4,000, we're hoping to get more than just the rental of the space. Some tables and chairs would be nice.
  

If you're mid-planning mode or just really savvy to event spaces and grassy knolls for hire in Chicago, any advice you have would be much appreciated.

Also, I've read all this crap about negotiating things and how the recession has people knocking down prices, but from what I can tell, all the affordable places have actually raised their prices for this year and next year while the big-deal, out-of-our-league, who-the-hell-spends-$40K+-on-one-day places are the ones who are knocking off a few hundred bucks (as they should be!)

Help!

<3!